"Oh, she has two moms. That’s cool. So what are you going to do when she asks who her dad is? What are you going to do if her dad wants to be involved?...blah blah blah blah...”
So picture this. I’m at work, just doing my thang, and someone comes up to me to talk about the pictures of my baby at my desk.
“Oh is that your baby?! She’s beautiful! What’s her name?”
“Bowie.” I answer.
“Oh that’s so cute! So who does she look like more? Mom or dad?”
Always an awkward question.
Usually I reply, “I think she actually looks more like her other mom.” Almost always gets a big laugh, so that’s good. But sometimes it leads to follow up questions that I’m sure are very well-intentioned but come off wrong.
“Oh, she has two moms. That’s cool. So what are you going to do when she asks who her dad is? What are you going to do if her dad wants to be involved? What are you going to do if blah blah blah blah...”
And honestly, not that I haven’t thought about it, but I don’t have an answer yet. And I don’t think I need one. It's no one's business but ours.
My baby has it all. She has a mom who makes her laugh. She has a mama who kisses her chubby cheeks. She has a mom who tickles her thunder thighs. She has a mama who dances with her around the kitchen. She has a mom who kisses her tiny eyelids when she falls asleep. She has a stay at home mom. She has a working mama. She’s got it all. She is beyond loved.
I’m not even sure if there’s a nice enough word to describe what she has, but we can start by saying she has two moms. I’m one half of the dream team (aka Bowie’s mom) and I’m here to tell you all about what it’s like to be a two mom family! It’s amazing. That’s it. That’s all I have to say. It’s amazing. My wife and I are the happiest couple on earth (we can say that, we met at Disneyland) and adding Bowie to the mix was like adding cookie dough to ice cream. She’s the perfect baby for us and we’re the perfect moms for her. I absolutely love my family.
I have a lot of hopes and dreams for my tiny baby. I want her to travel, and be a friend to those in need. I want her to follow her heart wherever it takes her. I want her to fall in love with the moon. I want her to be somebody that everybody knows they can count on. I want her to see the good in every person, and every situation. I want her to be strong. And capable. And brave. And I need your help.
Her little ears will hear the words you say about the people she loves most in this world. Her little eyes will see the way you look at her family. Her little brain is making memories of all of these moments. Her little heart is so pure, and so full of love. Please, don’t ruin that.
Say hello to us. Smile our way. Treat us the way you treat every other family in this big, crazy world. We’re raising the most beautiful bundle of sunshine, let her shine in peace.
- Mom & Mama
This story was written by Krissy and Sadee Pennee for our Hello Parents series. Our mission is to create a community of extreme inclusivity. Appreciating what makes us different and what we all have in common. No judgment. Just a village of support.
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