There's probably no other more consistent, constant thought parents of babies experience than "Pleeeeze sleeeep!!!!" And it's totally okay if you don't just think it sometimes and actually vocalize it and maybe curse under your breath, and maybe even feel resentful. It's SUPER demanding and draining taking care of a baby. And as much as you are overwhelmingly in love with that little nugget, there's no denying the fact that the sleep deprivation really messes with you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
An "off-switch" would sure be handy, but that's not how things work. And there's also not a one-size-fits-all solution because (surprise!) all babies and parents are different. BUT, there are some tried and true tips that are helpful and there are also some unexpected hacks that have worked like literal magic (like 30 seconds to snoozeville magic!) for some babies.
To help you along the way, we've gathered a bit of both. First up, we have a few easy-to-implement, tried and true sleep tips. Below those, we have some rather unexpected, but worth a try hacks that other parents swear by. (Feel free to skip ahead if you've already tried the tried and true!) Paired with a solid, consistent nighttime routine, we hope this advice will help everyone in the family get that much-needed shut eye.
First, here are our top tried and true sleep tips for parents to try.
If you do nothing else, make sure your baby's room is dark. Like really dark! A cave-like environment helps produce that super sleepy hormone, melatonin, and it blocks out any external stimuli that can excite their growing brain. Examine your sweetie's sleep space (whether it’s their nursery or your room). Are street lights flooding in through gaps in the curtains? Are there tiny, omnipresent LED lights from electronics? Babies love to fixate on anything bright and flashy, so take a few steps to create a pitch black bedroom:
Hello, Witching Hour! There are a myriad of reasons why babies fuss, scream, or become inconsolable right before bedtime–if only there was a foolproof fix all! When you’ve exhausted all your usual tactics (such as bouncing, burping, feeding, singing, rocking, shushing), try this quick, calming solution:
We know that most parents could use a good massage right about now. Same goes for your wee one, especially when they're mid-meltdown! Just like adults, babies hold tension in their little bodies from anxiety and overstimulation, making it difficult to drift off to slumberland. Physical touch can be an excellent antidote!
Try stroking their teeny tiny eyebrows, forehead and the bridge of their nose with downward strokes. Check out how shockingly quick and effective this can be in the video below.
Facial massage works so well to soothe an overtired baby because it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system–which lowers cortisol and tells the body to slllloooow down. Other ways to help them stay calm? Try skin-to-skin, baby wearing, and managing your own stress because studies show that babies pick up on their caregivers’ emotional cues and body language.
We aren’t about to recommend a specific sleep training book, program, or philosophy–that’s for you to research and implement, if you choose! But some sleep advice is worth paying attention to, like monitoring your baby’s sleepy cues, establishing a bedtime routine, and watching their wake windows! Time things right and you could BOTH enjoy a solid nap or stretch of sleep.
Experts suggest using age-appropriate wake windows (aka: the recommended amount of time between sleeps) to help your baby fall asleep and stay asleep longer. Experiment with a schedule and document your findings to see if you notice a pattern. For example, does your baby’s morning nap come fast and furious while they need lots of extra wake time and activity before bedtime? This is pretty common!
Wake Window Suggestions:
Common Sleepy Signals (When you see the signs, get on that nap or bedtime routine STAT!):
Your baby is used to the warm, peaceful, and cramped confines of the womb, so it makes sense that they're not exactly thrilled to sleep in a bassinet or crib. That's like moving from a safe and sound studio apartment to a three-story unpredictable house! A good swaddle or sleep sack can help them feel more at home. And since not every baby likes to be rolled up like a burrito in a thin cotton blanket, you may need to hunt down and try out a few swaddle or sleep sack alternatives.
On the topic of swaddling, here's some priceless advice from baby-whisperer extraordinaire, Dr. Harvey Karp.
Now for some surprising sleep hacks...
As Dr. Gwen Dewar of ParentingScience.com says, "because you are the single most fascinating thing in your baby’s life. Even something as mundane as quiet talk and eye contact can be very exciting for your baby." Translation? Gentle rubbing and shushing are powerful sleep tools that are immensely more effective if you balance that physical attention with zero mental/emotional attention. Zip your lips (other than a neutral sshhhhh) and avert your gaze.
Being able to control the temperature and lighting in our homes is an amazing modern convenience, but it's also a relatively new experience for human biology. We live in a modern world where a slow internet connection is frustrating, but our cells are grounded in nature and our cells get frustrated without the environment they've evolved in for thousands of years–with natural sunlight and fresh air.
Sleep coach and mom Erin Hill's kids were 'crap nappers' (i.e. they'd typically last only 15–30 minutes). Knowing a full sleep cycle is 45 minutes, she knew her baby wasn't getting the full positive benefits of a good nap. Since poor sleep begets more bad sleep, she decided to try something most parents would find absolutely insane – she gently jostled her baby 10 minutes into the nap (just until eyelids start to flutter). "You do not want to wake the baby fully, but this gentle disturbance carries them past the normal point of wake up and they sleep deeper for 45 minutes or more! No more 'crap naps' and no more cranky baby," she explains. "Sounds crazy, but it works!"
Similar to stroking your baby's face, lightly "swooshing" them with a tissue can have a sleep-inducing, calming effect. There are a bunch of videos online of parents using this Rip Van Winkle-ish witchery, and here's one example.
Even if you're not a Star Wars stan, you likely know the deep, breathy sounds Darth Vader makes. Slow inhale, slow exhale, slow inhale, slow exhale. Know what else sounds like that? Human respiration when it's not drowned out by other sounds – like when you plug your ears (go ahead, try it), or when you're a fetus in utero. No wonder it's suuuuper calming for babies. It reminds them of "home." Check out how effective it can be.
And finally, we asked our Hello Bello Love Club for their best nighttime words of wisdom. Here's some of their advice:
Place a heating pad on low on the area your baby sleeps while you get them ready for bed, then take off the heating pad and lay your child down so they feel the warmth.
-Mckayla
Layering your crib/bassinet mattress with an extra sheet and protector that way If there are any accidents in the night you don’t have to fumble around to put on new sheets—just take off the top layer!
-Natalie G.
Our little one didn't sleep well for us at all, but we realized he just needed more stimulation during the day. We started going on long walks in the late afternoon before bath and bedtime and now he's sleeping 6-7 hours straight at night at 4 months old. We make sure he has plenty of tummy time and toys to play with before we try to put him down for a nap too.
-Steph
Lavender is always my go to! We make a routine right before bed where my son gets a calm bath with low light and lavender. I think it really helps wind him down. He also starts off in our bed and I move him once he falls asleep. It allows for extra cuddle time too!
-Stephy S.
My kids loved sleeping to white noise. Sometimes you have to find what works best. For my son it was the sound of a vacuum cleaner and for my daughter it was any kind. Also to save money instead of buying a sound machine you can use any bluetooth speaker and hook your phone up to it!
-Anonymous
Be consistent with the crib when they are a newborn! Naps and nighttime! If they still are awful sleepers in their crib, allow them to be in the crib 10-15 minutes a day awake (play time) so they can understand there is nothing to be scared of!
-Danielle
…One thing that’s worked with both of my babies that goes along with the bathroom fan/hair dryer idea is the microwave vent fan! It’s seriously like a magic button for a fussy baby.
-Alison D.
Two babies… two different sleepers! My trick to sleeping is opting to do a dream feed while baby is asleep before they wake up themselves. Baby goes down around 7:30 and around 10:30 I go in, nurse baby without waking, and put them back down without ever disturbing them!
-Bonnie
I have both of my girls pick out something they want to do. Anything from going on a walk to reading. After the activity we have bath time. I let them play for about 15 minutes and take them out. They get to pick what they wear to bed. We’ll read a bedtime story and get in bed. All lights are off, no TV in the room, and they are out for the night. My oldest is 6 and my youngest is turning 2.
-Estefany O.
A good, portable sound machine will do wonders! My toddler and baby know that when the white noise goes on, that means they are going down. I also would say to just pick a sleep training method and stick to it. Some of my friends will try one method for a day, then have misgivings and give up and try something else another week. You can research till your eyes bleed, but at the end of the day, whatever type of method you choose, you have to actually *do* it for 3-7 days for it to work!
-Tori
…another tip for getting them to sleep longer is always keep about your routine of cleaning like vacuuming, doing the dishes, and laundry. The baby will begin to sleep through your cleaning. A tip for bedtime is bathe the baby then put a fresh new diaper on. Next feed the baby and lay the baby in the crib with either a white noise machine or lullabies. Baby will learn to have a sleep schedule very quickly.
-Michelle M.
We know that EVERY parent has a "bedtime story" with valuable tips and advice! What are your best kept sleep secrets? Please share in the comments below! Your experience is sooooo helpful to others!!